Sara Laughs

I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I've just finished my milk.

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April 20, 2014 10:16 am

wentdog:

itscolossal:

New in the shop: Sugar Skull Spoons by Hundred Million.

Yes please. 

Reblogging to remember. My daughter needs these.

April 19, 2014 9:39 pm

So we’re at the Union game today and I’m telling the husbot that I want one of the new jerseys with Mo Edu’s number on it and he says, “You should tell your boyfriend.”

I replied, “You know, just because I say I want something, doesn’t mean I’m asking you to get it for me.”

And he says, “No, I didn’t know that. In 20 years of marriage, that never occurred to me.”

*sigh*

This makes me so sad. All this time he’s been trying to give me things, but all I wanted was for him to just accept me as I am.

April 16, 2014 10:24 pm

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

silent-cannibal:

absolut-niemand:

In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.

no you don’t understand we actually do say that

i crashed my car into a bridge

THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME

(Source: absolutniemand, via plaidasaurus)

10:18 pm

frillious:

twigwise:

frillious:

rnanatee:

buzzfeed:

These dad jokes from Reddit prove that dads are the original text posters. (images from dadsonvacation.tumblr.com)

DAD HUMOR IS THE WORST IT MAKES ME CRY

are you kidding if i’m ever a dad i’m going to make these jokes all the damn time they’re great

HOW DO ALL DADS KNOW THESE JOKES THOUGH

it is universal dad language that is bestowed upon you when you become a father

(Source: BuzzFeed, via plaidasaurus)

5:40 pm

Hope you get to come home soon Molly! Love, Jack, Evelyn, Gracie, and Kitty Winde

5:30 pm

Sports Fan

My “friend” likes sports, but he’s never been interested in soccer. He just texted me now to ask what time the game is on tonight, because he’s out with a friend to eat and wants to ask the bar to turn the game on so he can watch. He’s interested in what I’m interested in. That is so cool.

In case you are wondering, the Philly Union are playing the New Jersey Pink Cows at 7:30 eastern.

5:19 pm

My child cleans the same way her father cleans.

She’s cleaning out a cabinet that no one ever opens while the rest of the room remains a cluttered mess because that makes complete sense. Tear everything out of the cabinet and make a bigger mess in the room than you started with, but at least the cabinet is clean.

5:00 pm
GPOYW

GPOYW

4:55 pm
For any of you Smithsonian goers…

quiyst:

Run, don’t walk, past every nasty, greasy, overpriced fast food court and go to the Smithsonian Museum of Native Americans and eat at the restaurant there. It’s expensive too, but for the same $30 you’d spend on a BS hamburger and fries at Air and Space, you can have some AMAZING cuisine from the…

April 15, 2014 11:22 am

Ow

The doc just cracked the hell out of my neck. Barf!

But! I can move it side to side now.

10:33 am
The bath & body works car air freshener exploded in the car and it stinks but it’s raining so I can’t open the windows so a napkin covering the worst of it will have to suffice and yes that’s an Elvis pez dispenser.

The bath & body works car air freshener exploded in the car and it stinks but it’s raining so I can’t open the windows so a napkin covering the worst of it will have to suffice and yes that’s an Elvis pez dispenser.

10:21 am
"I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong."

Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun (via observando)
10:18 am
"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

Chuck Palahniuk, Choke (via observando)
10:15 am
"They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for."

Tom Bodett (via observando)
9:51 am